I thought this was going to be a happy day for me but its not.
I was supposed to pick up my boyfriend from the LAX flyaway over an hour ago, I feel like the delay was intentional. I was filled with anxiousness and couldn’t concentrate at work all day.
That’s what happens you fall for someone. I’ve been told constantly that I’m overreacting, it was only two weeks, but a lot can happen in two weeks especially when you are two worlds apart from each other-literally.
You can’t blame a woman for having trust issues, if they have gone through heart break after another.
I feel distant, and secluded from his life because he is having so much fun, while I got stuck here all alone by myself.
Its not easy finding a companion that will be loyal to you.
I feel like this relationship is too much for me that if we were to ever break up, I would not think of dating anymore because it gets exhausting having to open up your heart (and body for the matter) again to someone else.
When you feel like this, its not a healthy feeling. It usually means that you need to find other ways to make your life happy, rather than having to depend on someone else.
I need to change, I need to overcome this feeling, but I also don’t want to let my guard down, women wear shields for reasons, it protects them from getting hurt.
Originally, I had the intention of seeing the Lars Von Trier film, Nymphomania for several reasons, the first one being after watching all his previous films that brought me interest to watch the next one that had yet to be released. I also had the assumption that it would be one of those films that diagnoses you with the problem of the main character’s, in this case being a sex addict. I illustrated rhetorics such as, “Do you think of sex all the time, even during church? How often do you masturbate to porn? Do you find yourself wet, sitting in your office at work while staring at the blank computer screen?” It was one of those assumptions that would leave you to a conclusion as you come out of the theatre and think, “Holy shit, I have an addiction” , when actually my conclusion of this film was far from it.
I’m too lazy to explain the film so here’s an excerpt from the New Yorker:
"Joe’s precocious genital consciousness led her to follow the lead of a high-school friend, called B (Sophie Kennedy Clark), in a game of sexual conquests aboard a train. (Young-adult Joe is played by Stacy Martin.) In her independent life, Joe often took as many as ten lovers in a single night. Some of them are young, some old; some handsome, some plain; some fit, some flabby; some stylish, some lumpish. And if there’s any doubt of their variety, a montage of lovers’ genitals, seen in close-up, makes the point: Joe doesn’t pursue a parade of groomed beauties or well-endowed studs, she has sex with a seemingly representative slice of the male demographic. And Joe, apparently, is not alone—she’s only one member of a group that formed in school, a secret sect of young women, or, as B called it, a “little flock,” that chants “mea vulva, mea maxima vulva,” and repudiates love in the sole pursuit of sex.
This indiscriminacy—the choice of partners not by beauty, charm, or charisma but on the basis of what Joe calls “morphological studies”—is the key to the movie’s pitch. Von Trier is the best advertising person in the movie business, and he has come up with a movie that is an ingenious commercial for itself. The average male art-house viewer emerges from the first part of Volume I filled with the pleasant idea that there are young women out there—young, pretty, sleek, and determined—who will suck him off in a random train compartment even though he’s forty, married, and faithful, or sleep with him on a regular basis despite his bald pate, bad clothing, bland affect, and blubbery gut. The only stumbling block is love. Love, as detailed by Joe and as shown in a variety of episodes throughout the film, is the curse that gets in the way of pleasure. ”
Although they describe Joe the main character as a “young adult” I saw her as a 15 year old minor whoring herself to older married men to win a bag of candy on a bet she made with her high school friend who called this a “game” which I found very, disturbing. As a woman, I naturally found myself hating the character and the film at times because of Joe’s actions which truly depicts the symptoms of a nymphomaniac- they are different than normal people in that they perform sex not for pleasure, but as a selfish act to gain attention from anyone to fufill his or her impulse of sexual behavior versus normal people who engage in sexual behavior, primarily with another person who they have feelings for, monogamously. There’s a fine line between loving sex and having lots of it whether its with the same person or not out of intimacy, and then there’s just being a whore.
It was hard to differentiate Joe, from being a promiscuous adolescent using her good looks for attention By technical definition a whore is a prostitute who gets paid but I am loosely using this term as someone who has sex with anyone that comes their way- a slut. And that’s how I saw the character Joe. Whenever I encounter slut behavior, she tends to have self esteem issues and likes to keep herself on check by putting out on any social media platform with a selfie that she’s there with open arms, or legs in this case. There’s a connection between this film and the justification of women’s behavior in modern society of diagnosing themselves with a “problem”. But I do not want to get in a tangent here, this is merely about the movie’s criticism (mine).
I have not seen Volume 2 yet, but based on the New Yorker’s reviews, Joe’s actions from adolescence come back to beat her in the ass- literally.
Females seem to be the subject of his films (Lars Von Trier). I don’t think Lars Von Trier had the intention of stating that such behavior is wrong but it does reflect in the film, sort of. The sex scenes are not the enjoyable type that the audience would get turned on by, very mechanical movements and unattractive to watch a very thin, almost anorexic- model/ looking actress naked, watching the film as a woman with self respect who shuns upon sexual objects on the screen. As for my boyfriend who also happened to watch it with me, it was hard to tell whether or not the general male audience would get turned on by this film. After watching the film, I felt that it was my duty to inform my boyfriend that not all women are nymphomaniacs like Joe, and that its wrong to have sex with minors. My partner got upset because he thought I was making a generalization of women’s behavior and men’s actions based on the film, when this film clearly depicts a young woman with a problem. There’s scene where Joe tries to seduce a married man on the train who’s on his way to go home and have sex with his ovulating wife so that they can have children. He rejects Joe the first time and says’ “No” after several weak times of saying no, Joe unzips his pants and sucks his dick. He could have clearly walked away from this situation, but it clearly didn’t stop him from letting an underage girl suck his penis.
Ultimately the film made me uncomfortable at times, the whole time I thought to myself: this is so wrong why isn’t anyone scoffing in the theatre but me, I’m surprised that the film hasn’t been covered by Jezebel and turned it into a whole feminist issue of precautioning men of the messages they get from watching films like this and what kind of behavior it leads to.
I am aware that this is a European film and maybe European culture sees underage girls more maturely, but when I see an American minor such as my 15 year old cousin, I most certainly don’t see an anxiously nymph waiting to unleash herself to older men like Joe who has a “problem”. Can they wait until their 18 at least for crying out loud? My maternal instinct is coming out, its something my mother would say and I am slowly evolving into a carbon copy of her who will tell me 15 years later when I have kids: I told you so.
My only precaution here is that if you encounter a person with nymphomaniac disorder, don’t have sex with them you are only making their addiction worse, and don’t ever joke about being a nymphomaniac it will only conclude that you are having sexual behaviors with everyone like a whore does only you don’t get paid like one and you might wake up in a train wreck- figuratively speaking.
If a girl is a virgin she is prude. If a guy is a virgin, something is wrong with him. That’s what the media depicts to young people. If only public figures out there with a high profile in the media could tell young people its okay to wait, there’s always a time for everything- this is part of life. Its not because you aren’t attractive, sex is meaningless when the motives are wrong. A nice car won’t get you the right girl either, but you know what will-maturity and self respect. I want to tell young people that there’s more to life than getting laid, and I am aware that a man’s urge is approached differently than a woman’s. If only men were more open about these issues and were supportive of each other rather than putting pressure upon another in this game of sex race.
You would be surprised to find out that you aren’t the only twenty-something year old virgin. There are many reasons as to why life has put a halt on sex: college is the time to find yourself, but the experience will be different for every individual. Some will excel in their career, and of course there will be others who got plenty of sex more than you. It might seem difficult to believe in yourself when you are distracted by what other people are doing. Don’t worry about everyone else, focus on yourself and what makes you happy in life (besides sex) even though you won’t see immediate results- but that’s what college is all about. You make friends, find people that you like to be with, explore an interest you’ve never done before and try it out.
Through moments of frustration find ways to make yourself laugh, dance around campus with your headphones on regardless of how crazy you look. Make friends with foreign exchange students, they are the most eager to make friends with anyone who is willing to talk to them. This might sound silly, but conversations are much more interesting when you talk to someone who had a different upbringing than you.
And most importantly, be nice to one another. Society may have failed us by shoving these ideologies of how men and women are supposed to behave, how we should appear, and other materialistic matters, but that doesn’t mean we have to live by it. Smile at each other, and cut yourself’s some slack! You are still young and life experiences only come with patience and age.
Trust me, I’ve been through the roller coaster, I didn’t have a boyfriend in college and there were times where I wanted to be in a relationship, but looking back I’m glad I wasn’t in one. It wasn’t the right time for me, and I don’t think I would have been able to enjoy having a boyfriend the way I do now.
Everything happens for a reason and timing is always important, just as long as you have the patience when the reward is sitting in the near future, waiting for you.
Every year thousands of baristas compete to see who can make the world’s best coffee. They have 15 minutes to make 12 drinks — to make an impact. It’s like the Olympics of the coffee world.
If you are a coffee lover and are intrigued by the industry, this one’s definitely worth watching, but they need a little funding. If they meet their goal, contributors will receive rewards like t-shirts, posters, coffee mugs, a dvd and of course, free coffee!!!!
I’m getting sick and tired of these women showing comfort in getting nude for an article spread or billboard and claim “respect for women”, no not really you’re attracting for the wrong reason and validate men’s expectation of sexuality because they can’t get their eyes off your tits. If you have the intention of showing the world your naked body just because you want to that’s fine, but don’t try to call out on some feminist bullshit or “respect me”, put your clothes back on and take action with an actual movement that will have a positive reaction towards society without getting a male reader a hard on.
When I graduated from college in the winter of 2012, I thought a lot would change in two years. I’ll be 24 in 2014, and I don’t feel a lot has changed. Time flies, but when I look at where I am today, its not certainly where I want to be.
This is life, but you have to keep playing the game, work hard and keep doing what your doing even though it doesn’t make sense and you feel like you’re not getting anywhere.